From: "Dr. D. Kossove" <doctordee@telkomsa.net>
Subject: coping    amy reg and sharon anderson
Date: Wednesday, December 03, 2003 9:17 PM

Date:    Wed, 3 Dec 2003 21:59:39 EST
From:    Amy Regenstreif <AmyReg@AOL.COM>
Subject: Re: Coping Skills, not Attitude   How do we do it?

In a message dated 12/3/2003 1:02:26 PM Pacific Standard Time,
TaikoMom@SBCGLOBAL.NET writes:
And I want to help my children develop their own strength in coping skills.
I am open with my kids, about this question.  We are role models till the
day we die.
How I go about finding ways to cope, will be imprinted on them for life.
I want to help them find healthy ways to cope that will be life-long skills
in every situation in their future.
It starts with me.  If I can do it, maybe they will too.

Sharon in SF
Hi Sharon,
Coping...what a fun topic. ..!  I think you hit the nail on the head when you
said each person has to figure out how to do this in their own way.  I will
share my coping skills.  The first thing is that works for me is that I admit
to not being able to cope All the time.  If I am not having a good day I let my
kids know it.  I tell them it is OK to vent or cry or just feel yukky...They
know that I will get over it shortly.  Now, if we are talking about true
depression..then seeking care for that & possibly medication is important.  I have
to say I have never been truly depressed..only very angry...(and sad).  I
think my kids actually help me cope with everything because I know I must keep
things together for them...They are going away with their Dad for 10 days in
December......so if I then flip out...you will know why! (ha)  They are the
driving force in my life right now.

As far as daily coping ...this will sound stupid....I have just decided to
live my life...whatever is in the cards for me as far as the progression of this
disease..I realize I only have so much control...and that is it.  I am going
to work, play, laugh, cry...etc. & manage this cancer as best I can.  I do not
know what else to do.  I miss my old self physically..but I know that person
is gone & mentally I am still here so yahoo!   When I have a bad day I know
the next one will be good.  And whenever it is 2, 5, 10, 20 years from now..I am
going to die fighting..if I do not get run over by a truck first!  (who knows
when we will go)

I do not want to do the positive attitude thing...I have just decided to be
strong, and to stay in the world.  My kids can watch this & learn.  I always
tell them that no matter what happens to me ....you must live a life that you
are proud of & that you enjoy.  I will never know if I did a good job with all
this....or maybe I'll get lucky.    All you folks are my role models.
Love,
Amy (LA 